


OC stuff

by NotAnAndroid



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay Male Character, Lesbian Character, M/M, Multi, Other, Pansexual Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 10:47:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30138393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAnAndroid/pseuds/NotAnAndroid
Summary: Idk, stuff to put my oc stuff.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 1





	OC stuff

Connell: This is such a bad idea.  
Maven: Then why are you coming along?  
Connell: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Connell: Am I going too far?  
Maven: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Connell: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday  
Maven: Wednesay  
Connell: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

Connell: I’m going to take you out  
Maven: great, it’s a date!  
Connell: I meant that as a threat.  
Maven: See you at five!

Connell: Maven and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-  
Maven: Sentences.  
Connell: Don't interrupt me

Connell: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.  
Maven: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?  
Connell: No! Four to five seconds!  
Maven: Too late!!!

Connell: God, give me patience.  
Maven: I think you mean 'give me strength'.  
Connell: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Connell: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.  
Maven: I think you mean cards.  
Connell, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

Connell: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.  
Maven: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.  
Connell: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Connell: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.  
Maven, amazed: Wow...  
Eros, to Maven: Well what does that mean?  
Maven: I don't know.  
Maven, to Connell: What does that mean?

Connell: Don't worry, I got a plan.  
Maven: Alright.  
Connell: TraitorSayWhat?  
Eros: Excuse me?  
Connell: What?  
Maven:  
Connell:  
Connell: No wait-

Connell: While I’m gone, Maven, you’re in charge.  
Maven: Yes!!!  
Connell, whispering: Eros, you’re secretly in charge.  
Eros: Obviously.

Connell, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.  
Maven: Okay  
Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?  
Connell: Orange soda, please!  
Maven: I'll have the strawberry soda.  
Eros: Me too, strawberry soda.  
Connell:

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Connell please come to the front desk?  
Connell, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?  
Store Worker: points to Maven and Eros  
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?  
Maven and Eros, simultaneously: We got lost :(  
Connell: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Connell, negotiating with Maven: We have Eros. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed  
Eros: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?  
Connell:  
Eros: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–  
Connell: EROS STOP

Connel: I CAN'T DO IT!  
Maven, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!  
Connel: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE  
Eros: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.  
Connel:  
Connel: I appreciate it,  
Connel: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-  
Evan: Connel-  
Connel: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!  
Rose: Connel we gotta-  
Connel: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.  
Connel: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'  
Connel, motioning to Viridian: NOT FUCKING THIS

Connel: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!  
Maven: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.  
Eros: More or less, I guess...  
Evan: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!  
Rose: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.  
Viridian: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*  
Connel: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.  
Everyone:  
Maven: ...I did. I broke it.  
Connel: No. No you didn't. Eros?  
Eros: Don't look at me. Look at Evan.  
Evan: What?! I didn't break it.  
Eros: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?  
Evan: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.  
Eros: Suspicious.  
Evan: No, it's not!  
Rose: If it matters, probably not, but Viridian was the last one to use it.  
Viridian: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!  
Rose: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?  
Viridian: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Rose!  
Maven: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Connel.  
Connel: No! Who broke it!?  
Everyone:  
Rose: Connel... Eros's been awfully quiet.  
Eros: rEALLY?!  
*Everyone starts arguing*  
Connel, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.  
Connel: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.  
Connel:  
Connel: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here

'Can I copy the homework?'  
Connel: I can help you with it!  
Maven: Yeah, sure.  
Eros: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.  
Evan: lol nope.  
Rose: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!  
Viridian: *Read 5:55pm*

Connel: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?  
Maven: Nope, absolutely not.  
Eros: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.  
Evan: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.  
Rose: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.  
Viridian: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome

Connel, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.  
Maven: Hey.  
Eros: Hi.  
Evan: Hello.  
Rose: Hey!  
Connel: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!  
Viridian: We were out of Doritos.

Connel: Croissants: dropped  
Maven: Road: works ahead  
Eros: BBQ sauce: on my titties  
Evan: Shavacado: fre  
Rose: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead  
Viridian:  
Viridian, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you

Connel: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.  
Maven: ... Your what?  
Connel: My friends.  
Eros: Are they saying “friends”?  
Evan: I think they're being sarcastic.  
Rose: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Connel! All of your friends are in this room.  
Connel: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Connel: What does 'take out' mean?  
Maven: Food.  
Eros: Dating  
Evan: Murder  
Rose: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Connel: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?  
Maven: Put spaghetti in it.  
Connel: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.  
Eros: Put spaghetti in it.  
Connel: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.  
Evan: Put spaghetti in it.  
Connel: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

Connel: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?  
Maven: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Eros?  
Eros: Probably “road work ahead”.  
Evan: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.  
Connel: Shit.  
Maven: Wait, three?  
Cop: Yeah?  
Eros: OH MY GOD EVAN FELL OFF!!!

Connel: I just ended a four year relationship.  
Maven: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?  
Connel: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.  
*Eros and Evan fighting from across the room*

Connel: Why are your tongues purple?  
Eros: We had slushies. I had a blue one.  
Evan: I had a red one.  
Connel: oh  
Connel:  
Connel: OH  
Maven:  
Maven: You drank each other's slushies?

Connel: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.  
Maven:  
Eros:  
Evan:  
Everyone Else At Connel’s Surprise Birthday Party:  
Maven: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Connel: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-  
Connel and Maven, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!  
Eros: Our turn, Evan! One, two, three- vanilla!  
Evan, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Connel: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!  
Maven: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD  
Connel: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING EROS WITH ME  
Evan, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Connel: Maven, I'm sad.  
Maven: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.  
Eros: Evan, I'm sad.  
Evan, nodding: mood.

Connel, setting down a card: Ace of spades  
Maven, pulling out an Uno card: +4  
Eros, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you  
Evan, trembling: What are we playing

Dolion: I was the second worst thing that happened to those orphans.  
Maven: What do you mean second?  
Connel: Maven, they weren't always orphans…

Eros: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.  
Evan: But are you shuffling?  
Eros: Everyday.  
Dolion: What language are you two speaking??

Connel, shouting at Maven: YOU DIE WHEN I KILL YOU!

Dolion: All things considered, it didn’t work out too badly.  
Connel:  
Dolion:  
Connel: We saw ourselves die.  
Dolion:  
Connell: Twice!

Maven: Am I gonna be okay?  
Connel: No. You’re in a relationship with me. Nothing will ever be okay.

Maven: knock!  
Eros, with the rest of the gang: who is it?  
Maven: uh, who is it?  
Dolion, possessing Connel: say it's the tax people  
Maven: the taxes!  
Eros: you can't come in.  
Dolion, still possessing Connel: tell them we're going to fucking kill his entire family if he doesn't open the door.  
Maven:  
Maven: We have cookies!

Maven: Hey Connel, do you have any hobbies?  
Connel: Swimming..  
Maven: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to-  
Connel: In a pool of self hatred and regret.

Eros (after being told that his joke was homophobic): I love gay people!  
Evan: Glad to see you love yourself.  
Eros:  
Eros: Touche

Connel: I started this whole Connel 2020 thing as a joke but now I feel like I could do a better job than Biden and trump.  
Evan: you literally tore apart our Minecraft server when we elected you. You are not fit to run.  
Connel: but it was funny

Dolion watching a nintendo direct: FUCK YES MARIO GOLF! I'M GOING TO HIT MARIO BETWEEN THE EYES AND KILL HIM!

Connel, also watching the Nintendo direct (he wanted crash for smash): Anime has been announced to be the latest fighter joining Smash Bros.

Dolion, on twitter: Hey @IOInteractive, found a bug in Hitman 3. After putting 102 unconscious bodies in the grape presser and knocking everyone in Argentina unconscious, my save file no longer loads. I was wondering if this could be fixed so I can continue making human wine. Thanks :)

Connel: because none of you seem to be able to trust me, I'll awnser any questions you ask.  
Eros: are you a bottom?  
Connel:  
Connel: you know, some people are a dominoes guy, some are a subway guy but me, I'm more of a Nintendo switch guy.  
Maven: *confusion*

Dolion: If there's no swastika, there's no kazoo!

Connel: This coffee tastes like dirt.  
Maven, concerned: That’s because you put soil in instead of coffee grounds—  
Connel: Oh. It tastes pretty good then. *sip*

Dolion: i want to change the world  
Connel: for the better?  
Dolion: [sweating]  
Connel: answer me

Rose: what’s your default reaction when you see someone that’s just too beautiful for this world?  
Viridian: i gasp  
Viridian: i smile  
Viridian: i stare  
Viridian: then i put down the mirror.

Maven: listen up teens, there’s nothing “meme” about smoking a cigarette. there’s nothing “Netflix and chill” to take a drug. fidget spin yourself to school.  
Literally everyone else:

Connel: i was at 7-Eleven and a guy asked me if I believe in God. i’m buying dinner at 7-Eleven, bro, i don’t even believe in myself.

Dolion: just tried watermelon on pizza, and honestly? it’s delicious!  
Maven, getting Connel, Evan and Eros: that’s him, officer. that’s the guy right there. shoot him before he gets away.

Connel: I know you think my judgement is clouded because I like Maven a little bit.  
Dolion: You doodled your wedding invitation.  
Connel: That’s our joint tombstone you fucking piece of shit.  
Dolion: My mistake.

Eros: i drink to forget but i always remember.  
Evan: you’re drinking a fucking Capri Sun

Maven: just discovered a trick. if you make brownies but dont cut them, you can eat the whole slab and say you only ate 1 brownie!  
Maven, laying sick in Connel's bedroom: don’t do that.

Connel: We dream of the summertime during winter. We yearn for the winter during summer. What fatal flaw has God injected the human psyche with? Why umust we always strive for the things furthest away from us?  
Connel: hey, you okay Connie?  
Connel: My feet are FUNCKING cold and don't call me that.


End file.
